How Children and Teens Grieve

Concepts and Beliefs

• No understanding of finality of death
• May wonder what the deceased is doing
• Can understand that biological processes (breathing, heart beat) have stopped but may think that is temporary
• May wonder if other loved ones will die
• Magical thinking and fantasies are common

Common Behaviors

• Regressive behaviors
• Repetitive questions
• Withdrawn
• Plays out death scene
• Interested in dead things
• Acts as if the death did not happen
• Intense dreams
• Physical complaints
• Crying

How to Help

• Hugging, cuddling
• Reassurance
• Maintain routines
• Continue rules and limits
• Include the child in the mourning process
• Be gentle and patient
• Allow the child to regress (for a time and with limits)
• Encourage play and fun activities
• Answer questions
• Listen when child wants to talk about the deceased
• Give simple and truthful answers