Molly and Margot started attending The WARM Place on one of our Sons and Daughters nights two years after the death of Margot’s dad, Taylor. We are honored to be part of their grief journey in the form of our peer support groups, family nights, and even some of our other offerings. We’re excited to be able to share a small part of their story.
Hi Molly! Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family, how do you like to spend your time together?
I am a Fort Worth native with two young daughters, Margot (8) and Lola (6). I moved back to Fort Worth with the girls the summer of 2022 from Roswell, New Mexico where my late-husband, Taylor, worked as a 6th generation cattle rancher. Although we never planned to move, I love being back in my hometown and closer to my family. I am an art teacher and in my spare time since Taylor died, I write a blog, God-Given Gumption®, that focuses on navigating life through grief from a Christian perspective.
Being on a school work schedule provides the girls and me a lot of time to travel back to the ranch to spend time with Taylor’s family. At home we like to do craft projects, bake together and snuggle up for family movie nights. Taylor and I were both TCU alumni, so when the weather is nice, we enjoy taking a walk around the campus. The girls like to visit the ranch management building and hunt for his legacy brick at the football stadium.
Both girls are involved in piano, dance and junior cheer.
You and Margot have been attending groups since July 2022. As a parent, what changes have you seen in Margot since she started attending The WARM Place?
Our WARM Place night is something Margot really looks forward to. Her group sessions always bring about new questions afterwards and open up a lot of discussions at home.
Our grief and personal experience has always been an open conversation between the three of us, but I think attending her group has really helped Margot connect to other kids with a similar experience. Hearing other children her age share about losing a parent has given her a deeper sense of empathy and perspective and helps her feel less alone in her emotions and frustrations
Lola is starting group soon now that she’s old enough. How has Margot’s experience influenced Lola? Both in their relationship as sisters and in Lola’s own grief journey?
Lola is always interested in what her big sister is doing and has anxiously been waiting to join her own group ever since Margot’s intake appointment the summer we moved to Fort Worth. I’ll always remember the night we got home from our first visit; the girls were doing their bedtime prayers and they both thanked God for The WARM Place and everyone who works there.
Since Lola was so young (17 months) when Taylor died, she has relied on Margot to share stories and memories with her. Lola has enjoyed all the fun at family nights but is eager to experience for herself the things Margot talks about from group. My girls have always been so close that I think Lola being old enough to join will help them understand that they each have their own grief journey that will look different from each other’s, and those extra hard days might hit at different times.
As a solo parent, how has joining the adult caregiver group benefited you on your journey? What would you say to someone that is navigating becoming a solo parent to grieving children?
The adult group has been great for taking the time to pause and acknowledge how difficult the solo parenting journey is. After loss, we keep going for our kids and do all the things we do because we simply have to. The surviving spouse is told too many times to count how strong they are, but the reality is that we weren’t given a choice.
The adult group is a safe space to be with the other parents and caregivers who are navigating similar struggles and it’s ok to say, “This is really hard.” It’s a safe space to laugh with a shared trauma humor, ask for advice, and unpack the peaks and valleys of our journeys.
My advice to another solo parent would be to have grace with yourself. Each day, anniversary, event can bring about different emotions for everyone in the family and you have to meet yourself and your kids where you are in that moment and know it’s ok. Grieving children need the adults in their life to model that all the feelings that come with grief are valid and have a time and space. Most importantly, take care of yourself the best you can by accepting help, giving yourself time, taking unnecessary things off your plate, etc.. so you can take care of your child(ren).
As an educator, what advice would you give to other educators who want to support a student in their classroom that has experienced the death of a loved one?
Keep an open communication with their parent or guardian. It is so helpful for a teacher to be aware that something is going on in a student’s personal life that could affect their work or attitude. Likewise, as a teacher, parents have entrusted their children to us and we are their eyes and ears at school and often observe a completely different child.
Most teachers are very compassionate people, but the unfortunate reality is that many of them (especially in the older grades) are in classrooms where they might have 150 students come through in a day without getting the opportunity to really know them all.
More demands get piled onto teachers every year and sometimes in the hustle and bustle we forget that every kid has things going on in their life outside of school. You don’t know what you don’t know and a teacher might see a student in their classroom who is not doing their work or being defiant as opposed to a grieving child who just needs a little extra grace that day. Initiating that open communication and checking in goes such a long way in making sure every student is comfortable and successful at school.
If you have a student that wants to come talk to you and share what is going on with them, just be a safe space to listen.
Your family has been very involved in our offerings outside of your regular group night, how do you feel this has helped you and the girls extend your community of support?
The family nights have been a great way to connect with other families who come on different nights we may not have otherwise met. The best thing about the nights that are hosted at the house is how at home my girls feel attending. The WARM Place isn’t just somewhere they go to talk about death, but a place they are excited to go to and celebrate life.
